


Mind over matter

by aroceu



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroceu/pseuds/aroceu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silver goes back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mind over matter

Kanto isn't quite really his home, Silver thinks sometimes. He does remember snippets of it--flying over Viridian Forest, running around in the parks here. But Johto--he's familiar with Johto, remembers actually training there, growing up there, finding every back way and sneaking up trees.  
  
But Gold and Crystal had told him go to home.  _Home._  As if Viridian City--this place, he could call it home. He snorts, because he can't even imagine calling Giovanni his father. Fuck, he calls Giovanni  _Giovanni_. Because that's who he is. And.  
  
Silver doesn't like the directions his mind goes, sometimes. He sometimes wishes that he couldn't think at all. He stops in front of the gym and pauses, debates going in there again.  
  
He remembers his first battle against Green--it'd been weird, because Green had frowned and said,  _"Have I battled you before?"_  
  
_"What? No, of course not,"_  Silver had said.  _"This is my first time in Kanto."_  
  
_"Where are you from?"_  
  
_"Johto,"_  Silver said, irritably.  _"Are we just going to talk or are we going to move on to the fucking battle?"_  
  
He remembers being scornful, at first--Green had hardly looked any more than a year older than him. But the battle, it'd been brutal; he'd lost terribly. Green had given him a sympathetic look, but, angrily, Silver had stormed out--  
  
\--he feels his cheeks warm at the memory.  
  
Now.  _Now._  He remembers the burning feeling inside of him; it'd been long before he learned about controlling his temper. Time has passed.  
  
People mill about, around him, and he continues staring at the large gym.  
  
Almost as if waiting for it, the gym doors open at that moment and the familiar boy comes out, brown hair wild and sticking up all over the place. He seems to be storing something in his knapsack, but pauses when he sees Silver standing there.  
  
Silver doesn't say anything because what is he supposed to say, really?   
  
"Uh," says Green, after a moment. "Can I help you?"  
  
It's been practically a year and Green does look older--Silver's sure that he does, too. Green still holds himself the same way, confidently, but humbly; doesn't let his guard down as he scans Silver over.  
  
"Yeah," says Silver. "I--wanted to challenge you." He clears his throat. "Again."  
  
"Oh," says Green, and then his eyes light up and he says, " _Oh!_  You're--Silver, right?"  
  
"Yeah." Silver's surprised. He doesn't remember giving Green his name last time.  
  
"Red told me about you," says Green, "because Gold told him about you. You've challenged me before?"  
  
_He doesn't remember,_  Silver thinks bitterly, and starts to turn away. "Never mind," he says,  _clearly I'm not fucking important enough that he doesn't even remember me when he's given me a time of day before._  
  
"No," says Green quickly, and he grabs Silver's arm. He looks a bit sheepish now, which doesn't suit him at all. "I just get a lot of challengers," he says, "so I usually forget about them if I haven't battled them in a week. I mean, I'm a freakin' gym leader." He chuckles.  
  
"Right," says Silver, warily. "Well, it's okay. I'm going to go--"  _somewhere else_ , he thinks, but doesn't say, because that's not exactly the best way to say goodbye to someone.  
  
"Don't," says Green, and Silver stops walking. "I--I've been looking forward to meet you, to tell you the truth. Even though I've never tried, because of--gym leader stuff, and all. I'm going to lunch now, actually," he says. "Do you want to come with me?"  
  
Silver doesn't. He really, really doesn't.  
  
"Sure," he mumbles.  
  
*  
  
Lunch is an awkward affair. Green treats him because he insists, which Silver doesn't like--it's too passive, too--he doesn't know. He eats his fish in silence, mostly only talking when Green says things like, "So, how's Gold?" ("Fine.") and, "Are he and Lyra dating yet?" ("Yeah.")  
  
When they're done, Silver stands up and says, "This has been nice and all, but I really shouldn't bother you any more--" but Green says, "Are you sure you don't want to battle me again?"  
  
"I'm,"  _he kind of wants to, to prove something to himself, that not all of this is in vain and that he can be powerful without wanting revenge_ , "sure," Silver says.  
  
"All right." Green looks content enough. "In any case, want to go to the pokemon Center with me? My eevee's there, she hasn't felt too well lately."  
  
"What's wrong?" says Silver.  
  
"I don't know. The food she eats, it just doesn't seem to settle well with her stomach." Green shakes his head. "And she never wants to battle, she just wants to stay in her pokeball and sleep--I sent her there a couple of days ago, though, so I'm sure Nurse Joy's made her feel better."  
  
"Yeah," says Silver, and thinks of the things Gold has said about pokemon's health, like the right food to feed the right types or breeds, the amount of sleep and water and exercise they get. Silver wants to say that maybe it has something to do with the water Green's eevee consumes, because it sounds like the conditions Gold had told him about--but he doesn't, he keeps his mouth shut.  
  
So they go to the pokemon Center and Green picks up eevee, who looks to be in better health. She jumps into Green's arms and Green laughs, and Silver can't help but crack a smile at the corner of his mouth when he thinks no one is looking.  
  
"Well, back to the gym," says Green. "I guess this is where we say goodbye."  
  
"Right, yeah," says Silver. He doesn't know where he's going to go now--perhaps, he supposes, where he was going to go when he'd planned on leaving Green in the first place. "Bye then," he says, and walks off without looking back.  
  
He hears Green call out, "Bye!"  
  
*  
  
He stays in Viridian for a bit because Giovanni's home has become his, even though the gym is Green's now. He hasn't seen Giovanni in years; perhaps he's still at Tohjo Falls. The landlord greets him like the apartment is his, though, and Silver is okay with this. Sort of.  
  
He spends most of his days lounging around in Viridian aimlessly, not quite sure what to do--he considers Viridian Forest for a bit, before deciding that he'd really rather not. Weavile comes out and keeps him company, although neither speak much: it's company that Silver is used to,  _okay with_. Back in Johto, Gold and Lyra would give him space, too, because that's how Silver is.  
  
He doesn't really like himself.  
  
On Friday, someone knocks at his door during the afternoon. Silver wakes up from his nap and opens the front door.  
  
He's surprised to see Green standing there.  
  
"Hi," says Green, and he smiles, like it's courtesy. "I was wondering if you were in. Want to get dinner with me?"  
  
Silver has a headache.  
  
"No," he says, and then closes the door in Green's face. Then, feeling a little bit guilty about it, opens it up again.  
  
Green's still standing there.  
  
"It's okay," he says, when Silver opens up to apologize. "It looks like you were just sleeping--sorry about that. If you don't want to get dinner with me now, then--?"  
  
"No," says Silver, "no, it's okay. You can--come into my apartment, if you want." He awkwardly shuffles out of the way. He's still wearing his black jacket and his red hair probably looks all gross and matted, but he doesn't care. Really.  
  
"This is nice," Green compliments, and Silver mumbles a thanks. "Was this your, um. Giovanni's?"  
  
"Yeah," says Silver, and then sighs and throws himself onto the couch. "I have something of his, too. Just like you."  
  
"Mm." Green wanders over to the furniture near the television, which Silver hasn't touched--he hasn't really touched anything that had been here first, except for the remote control and a few chairs and the couch, which he sleeps on.  
  
The furniture is mostly figurines of earth pokemon, rhydons and nidoqueens and weird, mole-ish ones with silver helmets on their head. Green picks one of them up.  
  
"What pokemon is this?" he asks Silver, and Silver shrugs.  
  
"How 'm I supposed to know? I didn't know anything about Giovanni, it's not like I'll know anything about his pokemon."  
  
"Right," says Green, and puts it back down. "Do you--are you happy that you got his stuff?"  
  
Silver snorts. "It's better than him just cutting me out of his life completely," he says, "at least I get his  _stuff_. Don't know shit about him, though," he mutters.  
  
"Yeah, I." Green sits down on the couch next to his feet. Normally Silver would kick anyone off--Gold, definitely--but it feels natural, to have Green sit next to him.  
  
"I didn't know anything about my parents either," he says. "Still don't."  
  
Silver stares at him. "Did they just--are you an orphan?"  
  
"I don't." Green sighs again. Rubs his palms on his cargo pants. "I don't know," he says, finally, "they were in that war years and years ago, and I don't--I've always known that I lived with Gramps, and." He chuckles. "Obviously not the greatest thing, but what else can I do? He provided me with shelther, anyways, and Daisy was practically--practically a mom to me."  
  
He stops talking suddenly, and says, "Sorry that I--shit, I didn't mean to bore you or anything."  
  
"No," says Silver, "no, I don't mind."  
  
"Things just didn't seem--I didn't know  _anything_ ," says Green. "I still wonder if I know anything about the world today. And Red had always been my best friend, but he'd always been ahead of me, and I didn't--I started hating him, and it was stupid--"  
  
"I know," Silver interrupts. "Gold was like that too. He beat me at everything, and I hated him from the start."  
  
Green shoots him a smile, like a beam of light through cracks of broken glass. "Look where we are now," he says.  
  
"Friends with our enemies?" Silver suggests.  
  
Green laughs, and then bumps shoulders with him. They're both sitting upright on the couch now, Green hunched forward, playing with his fingers. "We are alike, Silver," he says. "Maybe I'm not as--uh, I dunno, secluded--as you, but I think." He sends Silver one of those broken glass-smiles again. "I think there's a lot we share."  
  
"I'm still not getting dinner with you," says Silver, and Green laughs again, and then Silver can't help breaking into a grin, if only quickly.  
  
The look of shock that passes over Green's face turns into a beam and Silver sort of regrets it. But then, he doesn't.  
  
*  
  
A few days later, Silver  _does_  battle Green at Viridian Gym, and he wins this time. He feels like there should be some closure, some sort of uplifting feeling of victory, but it--it only feels like it should naturally follow. That this is some sort of script he's playing.  
  
"You didn't go easy on me, did you?" he says, as he brings his weavile in (and pats its pokeball approvingly. He hears weavile purr inside of it.)  
  
"No," says Green, handing him the Earth Badge. "You did it all on your own. Congratulations."  
  
Silver takes the Earth Badge from him, and then stares at it.   
  
"Is this the same type that my father used to give out?" he says, and Green nods.  
  
He chucks it against the back wall of the gym, and it breaks into hundreds of little pieces and shatters to the ground. Silver feels the tension in his muscles leaving him, and turns to Green, and says, "Sorry, sorry, I just had to let that out--"  
  
Green doesn't let him speak anymore. He grabs him by the shoulder and kisses him hard, and it's really a surprise and Silver is thinking,  _what?_ in his head, and even more  _what?_ s when he finds himself not really protesting, his body sort of--  
  
"Silver," says Green, when he pulls away, "you really need to understand that I don't care if you're mad at Giovanni.  _No one_  cares if you're mad at Giovanni. But we--I--care about you if you're upset, and--"  
  
"What was that?" says Silver. He touches his lips tentatively.  
  
"Trying to tell you to trust me," says Green. "Because I know what it's like. I know that it's not easy, yeah. But I'm here."  
  
"You--"  
  
"I gave you that badge because I knew you're strong enough," he says. "Because you  _are_. There's nothing really--nothing to be afraid of, and you have to stop doing this to yourself."  
  
Silver feels the edges of his eyes leaking and he doesn't know why; Green is drawing him close and Silver thinks that maybe he will kiss him again. Doesn't care, or want it though, right? Green is close, so close, and Silver sort of falls apart at his touch--Green's hands feel like the brunt of the earth, at the bottom of his feet.  
  
"It's okay," he says, and that's all Silver hears,  _it's okay, it's okay, it's okay_. And he holds him, in the middle of the gym, his gym, Giovanni's old gym, and Silver thinks that maybe one day, he'll be all right.  
  
Green makes him feel like he's sinking into a sea of forests.


End file.
